The Drunk Monkey's Tavern

A German, a Frenchman, and an American were caught drinking alcohol in an Arab country. They were arrested, convicted and sentenced to receive 20 lashes each. On the day the sentence was to be carried out, the local Emir and his wife came to witness the punishment at the jail. The Emir made a short speech before the lashings were to begin.

Emir: Today is my wife's birthday and she has persuaded me to grant you each one wish before you receive your punishment.

Emir to the German: You have been granted one wish, what is it ?

German: My wish is that you tie a pillow to my back.

The pillow was tied to his back but after the first 3 lashes the pillow exploded into a cloud of feathers. The German received the remaining 17 lashes and was carried away bloody and moaning incoherently.

Emir to the Frenchman: You have been granted one wish, what is it ?

Frenchman: My wish is that you tie two pillows to my back.

Two pillows were tied to the Frenchman's back and the lashings began. After 8 lashes, both pillows had burst and the Frenchman received the remaining 12 lashes without their protection. He was carried away bloody and moaning incoherently.

Emir to the American: Ah,.......the American. I and my wife have been to America , you have a beautiful country, we especially liked your Disney World in Florida. For this, I will grant you two wishes.

American: Thank you Emir you are very gracious. Out of respect for your country and it's laws which I have violated, my first wish is that I receive not 20 but 100 lashes.

Emir: Ahhh........very brave and admirable of you, and what is your second wish ?

American: Tie the Frenchman to my back !