- When I was born, I was given a choice: A big dick or a good Memory...I don't remember, what I chose.
- My birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
- A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
- Impotence: Nature's way of saying: 'No hard feelings...'
- There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men: 'Don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
- Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
- There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
- Virginity can be cured.
- Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
- Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
- I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small...
- Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
- Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
- A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.
- Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
- Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
- Despite the old saying: 'Don't take your troubles to bed'. Many men still sleep with their wives!!