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A Drunk's Bucket List

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1.) Open and close a bar.
 2.) Go on a bender.
 3.) Drink a fifth of hard liquor, by yourself, in one day.
 4.) Dance like a fool in front of a large hooting crowd.
 5.) Spend a night in the drunk tank.
 6.) Get drunk on the grave of your hero.
 7.) Buy a crowded bar a round.
 8.) Embark on an impromptu road trip.
 9.) Get 86’d from a bar.
 10.) Extravagantly overtip a bartender.
 11.) Walk up to an attractive stranger way out of your league and buy him or her a drink.
 12.) Conspire an afterhours at your favorite bar.
 13.) Make your best friend a perfect martini.
 14.) Buy, build or steal a home bar.
 15.) Get carried home by your drinking buddies.
 16.) Get drunk with your father.
 17.) Fight a good fight.
 18.) Visit the source of your favorite beer, wine or liquor.
 19.) Drunkenly watch the sun come up with your best boozing buddies and a bottle.
 20.) Sit in on an A.A. meeting.
 21.) Hit a dozen bars in one night.
 22.) Try at least one hundred different drinks.
 23.) Get loaded in the land of your forefathers.
 24.) Juice on the job.
 25.) Split a magnum of expensive champagne with your true love.
 26.) Give a hobo twenty bucks.
 27.) Get loaded and tell your boss exactly how you feel.
 28.) Send a friend a bottle of good liquor.
 29.) Eat a pickled egg from the big jar.
 30.) Go on a fishing trip with your pals.
 31.) Eat the worm.
 32.) Learn at least one traditional drinking song.
 33.) Steal some booze.
 34.) Spend half a paycheck on a single bottle of liquor.
 35.) Start your long-awaited and very personal autobiography: Me and the Booze: A Love Story.
 36.) Try absinthe.
 37.) Watch the movie Barfly with five of your closest friends.
 38.) Work at least a week as a bartender.
 39.) Make your own beer, wine or moonshine.
 40.) Go to your place of worship loaded.

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